Cultivating perfection

September 3, 2016 (Kampala): It's been a year since I've even thought about starting a school in Ikland. But for some reason on this morning, after waking up miserably at 5:00, the vision came back to me. It was sparked by what I read from David Fideler this morning, that "humanity has a special role …

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Choosing the unchosen

August 18, 2016 (Kampala): Yesterday I was paralyzed by our ambiguity. I spent much of the day just working in the kitchen and watching TV documentaries. But toward late afternoon, I detected a subtle shift within me. I began to operate as if attending FSU this fall is out of the question and we are …

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Life is absurd

August 16, 2016 (Kampala): At church on Sunday, we had as a guest speaker the American Bob Kilpatrick, author of the song "In my life, Lord, be glorifed." He wove short admonitions between various songs he led us in. One thing he reminded us of was that 'life is absurd.' I think I interpret that …

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Perspicacity in pain

The following journal entry from Uganda on June 26, 2016, recounts an episode I had of severe gut pain. In retrospect, the experience makes three things clear: 1) after years of high chronic stress, my immune system was weak and my resultant bouts of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) were getting more frequent and more severe, …

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No breastfast

A journal entry from February 8, 2016, recounting our move out of Ikland: Thursday morning, February 5, I intended to have one last glorious quiet time in pristine Timu nature. But just after sitting down on my boulder, G padded up behind me and sat down beside me. My heart sank. Without asking, he picked …

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Spark of recognition

February 2, 2016 (Timu): I woke up before 3:00 a.m. this morning, and thoughts flooded my mind. My body is tired, my gut wracked with pain. I feel like shit. One of the things that came to mind was what I want to say to my three old men - Iuda, Gabriel, and Simon - …

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Wishful thinking

People with narcissistic tendencies often have what's called a poor 'reality test'. A reality test is the ability to accurately assess actual entities and events outside one's private inner world. In well-adjusted individuals, this testing is done continuously as a way to ensure that our  inner world of experience and outer environment are calibrated and …

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The Listener

January 27, 2016 (Timu): Yesterday was quite a day. My dictionary guys came, and we had a good session. I got some lovely new words: technical, culturally highly significant, and likely very ancient. For example, /b'ej'ékù-/, 'white ants that fly late in the season', or /wàsò-/, 'the stick that's bent over as the spring in …

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Practice for dying

New Year's Eve 2015, we as a family felt there was in impending change on the horizon. We didn't realize how soon it would come. As I related in my post called "Trauma," we had had an armed robbery with gunfire seven years earlier. Amber and I had both recovered from that fairly well, well …

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Go down center

January 1, 2016 (Timu): The New Year is upon us. Last night we did something I've wanted to do for a long time - climb up on our roof to stargaze and philosophize. After dark, I took mattresses, pillows, blankets, and hot chocolate up there and then surprised Amber and the girls with what we …

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