August 2, 2015, Kampala:
De Caussade’s reading for this morning describes the process God has been taking me through these last ten years or so:
“The soul ought to strip itself of all things created in order to arrive at the state of abandonment…this state of consolation is for those who have attained it; but to do so it is necessary to pass through much anguish. [Pure love] can only be taught by the action of God…God teaches the soul by pains and obstacles…”
“Therefore it is only by constant crosses, and by a long succession of all kinds of mortifications, trials, and deprivations, that pure love becomes established in the soul. This must continue until all things created become as though they did not exist, and God becomes all in all.”
“To effect this God combats all the personal affections of the soul, so that when these take any special shape, such as some pious notion, some help to devotion; or when there is any idea of being able to attain perfection by some such method; or such a path or way, or by the guidance of some particular person; finally to whatever the soul attaches itself, God upsets its plans and allows it to find, instead of success in these projects, nothing but confusion, trouble, emptiness, and folly.”
“Thus, finding only deception and emptiness in everything, the soul is compelled to have recourse to God Himself, and to be content with Him.”
Now I [Terrill] pray God identifies and destroys any further allegiances or addictions my soul has to anything but Him, for I know full well He can return them to me in my sanctified state as bountiful gifts for me to enjoy, no longer as idols, as ignorant substitutes…but gifts that represent the Giver.