June 26, 2015:
For the past week or so I have felt an emotional and psychological distance from God. What that means practically is that I’m not having the usual daily metaphysical visions that get me excited. If I’ve learned anything at all in the last seven years, it’s that I can say, “Whatever X may be that I associate God with, is not God.”
God may be in the metaphysical visions, but he is not the metaphysical visions.
If the visions go away, it doesn’t follow that God has gone away.
Toby Mak: “When all else fades away, YOU REMAIN.”
Just now, squatted in this dank guard shack, I was hit with the fact that no matter how I feel, how distorted my perception, how lifeless my soul:
I AM still here.
THE WORLD is still here.
Strip all my inner life away (fears, doubts, insecurities, etc.), and the world is still there, indifferent to my issues, like a silent and solid backdrop supporting my existence. As long as I am here, as long as the world is there, I can never say that God has left me – regardless of my inner turmoil and doubt.
For me, as for Teilhard de Chardin, God is in the World, and faith in the World is faith in God. And the World never forsakes me.