Trained killers

March 29, 2015, at a restaurant in Entebbe, Uganda:

A couple of groups of American special operations soldiers came in for lunch. Once again I had that sense of fierce admiration and envy. Trying to understand why that is, I’m thinking that I crave a close brotherhood (and sisterhood) of gifted individuals, united in a narrow and specific purpose, fearless, trained, operating as a team but with clearly defined specialties…

I am not to fight with guns. I am to fight with the weapons of the mind, deployed in love rather than military might. And the brotherhood I long for will not be trained killers of men but trained killers of error and ignorance, of any and all obstacles to a collective human understanding of truth.

We will be a unit of passionate and fearless intellectuals…

This profound loneliness I feel will be a driving, creative force in my life…

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